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When Your Healing Feels Weak by Monica Rodriguez

I remember when I was first going through an incredibly dark season in my life. I was figuring out how to be a single mom, processing through my very quick separation and divorce, and attempting to seek healing for my soul.


I was reading books, in counseling, praying, crying (so much crying), journaling, attending church, and crying more for months. Somedays I felt good. I could smile, laugh, carry on a conversation with a new friend, enjoy {single} motherhood, and my heart felt full.


Other days I cried until my eyes had no more tears. The anger in my heart was too much to bear and I would yell and scream. Conversation could not get past me talking about my divorce, my sadness, and how incapable I felt.


Even though I was actively seeking healing, it felt like I was getting nowhere. My healing felt weak. Something that wouldn’t bother me one day had me on the ground weeping until I was almost sick the next.

It was so back and forth. Waves of emotions would flood me and every day I never knew what to expect. Would I be paralyzed with confusion? Or would I smile through the chaos and trust that God had something else for me.


Friends, sometimes that healing does feel weak. It feels like its not getting us anywhere. It feels like it will break under the pressure and it really isn’t helping us. Healing isn’t always a linear thing. Sometimes it is up and down, back and forth, two steps forward and three steps back. But I strongly encourage you to not stop.


Keep reading, keep praying, and seek guidance. Go to counseling, read books, listen to podcasts. Don’t stop because our healing gets strengthened with everything we do. Sometimes the pain is too much to bear but God is strong when we are weak. He is the Great Healer. Over time you see the healing. Those little steps all put together make big steps. We might not see it right away, but we do get strong. Our healing gets stronger.


Xoxo,

Monica


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