A while ago I was sitting holding a small rock in my hand on which the word FEAR was painted. I was at a women’s retreat I was invited to by my dear friend Ingrid. Honestly, I didn’t want to go. It was so out of my comfort zone and the fact that I accepted the invitation was totally a God thing. He wanted me there. This is my story of Victim to Victorious!
In 2013, I went through a divorce that left me broken in every form of the word, spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. I had been spinning my wheels suffering in my misery for almost five years. I was not dealing with the pain and brokenness, I was just swimming in it. I was 48 years old divorced and alone. My identity was always wife and mother, now I found myself single and my children were grown, so I was alone. I immediately started dating, serial dating! I can laugh at it now, but at the time it was not funny. I was desperately looking for someone to take care of me and to once again establish my identity. Needless to say, nothing came of my years of serial dating and I thank God for that ...it wasn’t His plan.
So I found myself sitting in this place with the painted rock in my hand reflecting on fear. What was I actually afraid of? It was just so simple, I was afraid of letting go of my misery that I had somehow found comfort in and was now my dwelling place. As a prophetic act, I threw the rock over a hill as I reflected on my fear and how it was holding me hostage in my life. Little did I know that moment and the events that would follow that night would change the course of my life as I knew it.
Later that night I participated in a coronation ceremony in which I was crowned with a tiara and proclaimed my identity not as wife, or mother, but as Mary, daughter of the King! It was quite an incredible experience, unlike anything I had experienced before. I remember at one point all of the women in the room were singing and it sounded Angelic, the presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong.
That night was the beginning of my climb from victim to victorious. So much has happened since that night. I quit dating and started seeking the Father's heart. I now have a precious intimate relationship with our Father that I cherish. I am no longer afraid of being alone because I know that I am never truly alone. He is right there by my side. It has been a season of stepping out of my comfort zone into the calling God has placed on my life. I am so blessed to be on the Sisters of the Crown leadership team and to witness how God works differently at each coronation to meet the needs of every woman as if it were designed just for her! I'm so honored to be on this journey with this team and be present to see other women receive the freedom I received that August night in 2018!