In January, I undertook a major renovation project, remodeling my guest bath and replacing all my interior doors. I had waited years to do this and was excited that it was finally time to start. Within a few days, the bathroom was stripped and every single door in the house went into the dumpster I’d rented for the demolition.
Since I live alone I hadn’t given a thought about having the doors off, so I was surprised to feel uneasy later that night as I was getting ready for bed. I was uncomfortable, but just tried to ignore it. The next morning when I got up to have my quiet time with the Lord, I still felt uneasy and uncomfortable. As I waited on the Lord, I asked Him why I was so uneasy and heard him say, “I am taking off all the doors to your heart.” Suddenly, I recognized that my unease with my ‘doorlessness’ had to do with feeling vulnerable and exposed. Every room in my house was open, all my closets too, hinges normally tucked away were exposed. I knew the Lord was exposing me and opening me up so that nothing was hidden.
He began to show me things that I had hidden from myself, things He knew but I had hidden away rather than deal with. The Lord was gentle and kind. As He exposed a new area each day, I recognized and surrendered it to Him. I had thought the season of vulnerability and exposure would be short, but the remodel completion was delayed, then delayed again. I found that as the days and weeks went by, I minded less and less having the doors off. I began to feel more and more comfortable in this new vulnerability with the Lord, even enjoying it.
Coming into this new place of deeper vulnerability and surrender has been liberating for me. The deep acceptance I received during this time is something I don’t have words to express. I have known and felt acceptance by the Lord for many years, but this was different; this was about me accepting me. The Lord knew those secret places in my heart even though I didn’t. He was not doing this work for His benefit but for mine. This whole experience ended with a new acceptance of myself and was deeply healing and freeing. I am so grateful that the Lord used my remodel experience to show me that I needed to allow Him to take off the doors of my heart and remodel me.
I encourage you to do the same. You don’t have to physically remove the doors from your house, but allow Him to take the "doors" off your heart and open yourself up more completely to Him. You need not fear letting the secret places of your heart be exposed to Him. He is gentle and kind, and already knows those places you fear most. Come boldly into a place of deeper vulnerability. Greater acceptance and love and freedom await you, as you let the Lord remove the doors and enter in.