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Dreaming Again by Evie Kowalewski

I have been reading Havilah Cunnington’s book, “I Do Hard Things.” The title sounded empowering and I know that I can shy away from hard things, so I knew this would be a good read for me. In it, she states that when we are in pain, we don’t dream, and that when we don’t dream, we can’t authentically live. I immediately understood this statement when I read it, because I have lived it.


When you are living with undealt with pain, you are just surviving. The tensions and battles within drain you, and when you are drained, you aren’t operating at full capacity. Full capacity being having the energy and drive to be fully engaged and present in your life. I know this way of operating at half capacity all too well. I lived my life around my pain and corresponding insecurities for many years, living at peace with my pain was easier in the moment, but such a thief when I look back over my life. Working through pain isn’t easy, it can be exhausting and scary, but the freedom on the other side is more than worth it. Living life free, and at full capacity with the ability to hope and dream again, is the reward on the other side of doing the hard work of dealing with pain head on.


Whether you have recently experienced loss or betrayal or whether you have wounds from the past that keep you bound, please know that God has given you everything that you need for the journey through this pain to the other side. He has given us everything that we need for life and godliness through his precious promises (2 Peter 1:3). He will instruct you on the path forward with His loving eye upon you (Psalm 32:8). He will generously give you wisdom without reproach (James 1:5). You can cast your anxieties upon Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). And sometimes most importantly, He will bring your weary heart to rest in Him (Matthew 11:28). Fully resting in Him and working through pain can happen at the same time, I have experienced it.


He meets us along the way with his precious promises, but we have to do the work of responding in faith and walking through the pain to the other side. In addition to finding comfort and renewing your mind in the Word of God, please find safe, wise, godly friends or counselors to be open with about your struggles. It is time to expose and shine light on anything internal that is holding you back. We live from the inside out (Proverbs 4:23), so freedom and healing must be worked on from the inside out.


Please know how very precious you are and what a precious gift your life is. If you are struggling right now, you will dream again, you will find peace again. His promises over you are abundant, and His love for you is infinite. He can gently lead you through the hard work of healing and restoration while you also find true rest in Him.


Love,

Evie Kowalewski


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